The Corbomite Maneuver

So there I was, at UPS. I spend all my time there during this festive season, shipping all of your packages around so that Santa Claus can sit on his fat butt and take the year off. Again. He has gotten pretty lazy. I say, make him fire up that old sleigh and deliver this crap himself. But never mind. I was at UPS and a supervisor whom we call 2Thug was explaining to me that I can not work on night shift next week because the double shifting is being cut off. And this after all the times I saved their lives?

Unacceptable.

Then He asked me if I was working for them on the optional Sunday sort. In fact he was begging me since the other pick-offs aren't going to be there, and he will be sorely hurting without all of us. I felt like I was being screwed. I was going to have to work Sunday and get what overtime I can since I'll be dropped like a sack of potatoes on Monday. But then I remembered that there is no such thing as a no win situation. I asked myself, "What would Shatner do?"

So I pulled the Corbomite Maneuver. I told 2Thug that I would only work for him on Sunday if he would get ST. Anger to let me work night shift next Monday-Wednesday. I was bluffing, of course. 2Thug didn't like it very much. He looked like he might cry, and he said somthing like, "You can't do this to me. You can't bribe me like that." I knew then that I had him. He didn't understand the situation at all.

"Yes I can." I said. "And I just did it."

"But it's not even up to me."

"Well then you better talk to St. Anger."

"It's not even up to him."

"Well just tell him that's what I said, and we'll see what he does."

About 2 minutes and 18 seconds later 2Thug came and told me that I could double shift for him next week. I win. Sort of. But now I have to work Sunday. Damn!

FML