Saturday, September 4, 2010

Flashbacks In The Night

It happened as I was walking home from school yesterday afternoon, or at least it seems like yesterday at this particular moment. It's funny how the human brain can bring back, with crystal clarity, such superfluous recollections in the black of night. There are times when I can't remember something that was said to me 30 seconds ago by my very best of friends. But then there are times, such as now, when I can remember something said nearly 20 years ago, by someone I never knew, on a crosswalk in West Valley. Why is that? I wonder.

I was walking home from school. It was a Friday afternoon. I had just bolted, like a roach suddenly exposed to the light of day, from out of my fifth grade classroom, which was one of those portable classrooms that exists completely exterior to the regular school building, on the outskirts where a hasty retreat is possible. Therefore, I was slightly ahead of the prepubescent horde. There were few children on the street yet. I came up to a crosswalk where I was stopped by the safety patrol person who was stationed there. As I waited for my turn to safely cross the street, one girl stepped up beside me. I did not know her. We had never before spoken. I did not know her name. We were total strangers in every way. She looked over at me with complete disgust and said, "God, you're freakin' ugly!"

"Uhhh.....hmmm?" I said, rather eloquently.

"You are the ugliest person I have ever seen."

I looked at my feet, wondering how things had turned out this way. I could think of no proper retort under the circumstances. I was caught completely off guard, exposed for my crimes against nature. There was to be no escaping from this final judgement. I tried to pretend it wasn't happening. I looked to the safety patrol person for some sign of assurance. He seemed to glare back at me in pure contempt. I looked to the sky in search of some divine clemency. The clouds were grey and heavy. It felt like rain.

Finally, after what seemed like many hours of painful introspection, we were allowed to cross. When we got to the other side the girl turned to me once more and said, "I hate you!" I quickened my pace and hurried off ahead, leaving her behind to forever haunt me on these weird, dark nights.