M.Y.O.D.B.

I have always lived my life under a certain belief that there are some truths which will always remain out there. Not because the answer can not be found, but because there are simply some questions you should not ask. You simply don't need to know, and should leave it at that, no matter how curious you may be.

Nevertheless, we live in an increasingly broadband world. Thanks to such narcissistic outlets as Facebook, Twitter, etc, etc, millions of people are devoting major parts of their lives to sharing each and every thought that may cross their busy, little minds throughout their day. Therefore a lot of people have started to become accustomed to knowing everything about everyone, and therefore we as a society are beginning to lose a certain sense of tact.

Now, when a question crosses a person's mind, they are highly likely to just go ahead and ask it. Even if the question is one that should only be asked in the privacy of your doctor's office. Even if they are a complete stranger to you for that matter.

Since becoming engaged I have found myself increasingly targeted by such questions that I rarely feel compelled to address. I do not feel even slightly guilty if I do not divulge every detail of my intimate life in public. But, as a sort of public service, I will now list to you some of the weird, and some downright inappropriate questions I have been asked by people ranging from casual acquaintances to perfect strangers since I became engaged. I swear to God. Every one of these questions has been asked at least once by someone who just found out I was engaged:

1. How much did the ring cost?
2. Is it real?
3. How much are you spending on the wedding?
4. How much are you spending on the honeymoon?
5. Where are you going on your honeymoon?
6. What hotel are you staying at?
7. Do you live together?
8. Are you having sex?
9. Have you ever had sex?
10. Has she ever had sex?
11. Do you ever cheat?
12. Is She on birth control?
13. Do you have condoms?
14. Do you have any kids?
15. Are you going to have kids?
16. Where are you going to live?
17. How much money do you make?
18. How much money does she make?
19. How much money do you have in the bank?
20. Are you Mormon?

Some of those questions are only mildly annoying, like "Are you Mormon?" I don't understand what that has to do with anything. If you are close enough to me that you need to know my religious affiliation then you should already know it. But other questions, like "Do you have sex?" blow my mind every time. I would never ask anybody that. And yet that question has been asked more than any other question on the list. I fail every time to understand the reason why it is asked. My personal favorite is, "Is it real?" That has been asked in regards to the ring, and I'm not sure whether to be offended or flattered by that. It kind of depends on my mood. Other questions like, "Where are you going on the honeymoon?" Are not necessarily secret facts, and I can't see any reason why I shouldn't tell everybody, but I just simply don't want to talk about it sometimes.

Fortunately, because I am old-school, and do not feel compelled to express myself to just anybody, almost all of these questions can be answered with one stock response: "None of your damn business. Now go to hell!"